I am already dreading my favorite holiday. It's my year to have Mom come which in itself brings long standing issues, but we have also moved to the city where my birth mom lives. Mom is still struggling three years later with the fact that I have discovered my people, and it makes life most uncomfortable. The last time she was with us, we lived an hour away from Wendy so it wasn't so bad and we didn't all get together for christmas. This year however, being in the same city I think it would be obnoxious not to get together with the others. Wendy doesn't want to hurt Mom but says that she has suffered long enough. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not a possession, I'm thirty three and can love whomever I choose. However, Mom can be very sharp with her words and everything becomes a fight. I would really like to enjoy our first christmas in our new house but I already get naseous just thinking about the dynamics. There is a TON of history that I don't have time, space, or energy to get into but the thought of making sure that everyone is happy is killing me and it's not even dec.
Andreas blog regarding the "snaps" comes to mind.......
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3 comments:
Ya know what, lady? It's not your job to make everybody in your world happy. It really isn't! You're not meant to be the glue that holds everyone together. Happiness is a choice in this world. We make this choice for ourselves, it cannot be chosen for us by someone else. Happiness is relative. I say, you make your Christmas what you want it to be and make choices that honour and respect others, but ultimately make you happy. I realize that it makes us nuturers happy to make other's happy, but we have no control over what another person chooses to do or feel. I love you. Don't stress!!! It will all be fine. Trust me :)
Don't sweat it, Alison. Just have a good time. I know, easy for me to say...
It's your year to have mom... It's your year to have mom...
(say above with slight sing song voice and you will be close to what I feel!)
Really I do feel for you and can't imagine being in your spot! Love you and you know I am one speed dial away every day mom is there!
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